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She may expect her child to pursue the life partner she chooses.
Sadly, many DONM’s are further betrayed by a father that enables the narcissistic mother’s abuse. As these daughters grow up and become independent beings away from their mothers in order to one day make a life for themselves, select their own choices, and be functioning people in society, the narcissistic parent struggles to retain control.
She will continue to force her child into whatever role provides her the most narcissistic supply, such as the blamed scapegoat, the forgotten lost, the falsely empowered golden, or the enmeshed and parentified child.
Often, inheritance and financial favors are used by narcissistic parents to manipulate their children throughout their lifespan.
The narcissistic mother expects her child to put her needs first, no matter how she treats you, your children or your significant other. But, you were an innocent child, not a “mini-me” of the narcissistic mother.
Their behavior is destroying our family/relationship. Like many of us I’m related to a lot of mentally ill people. Stop arranging the desk chairs and get on a damn lifeboat.
There are at least a couple of bipolars and likely a schizophrenic or two hiding in the wings. People who won’t get treatment and continue to hurt you are the Titanic. Unfortunately, the narcissistic mother often gets overwhelmed by the natural demands of a child. Narcissistic mothers want their child to do what they want, how they want it and when they want it.Parenthood intensifies the NM’s abusive behavior and the child may then be blamed for the narcissistic mother’s inadequacies or failures. Many readers of this blog have experienced an “engulfment-abandonment cycle” where the mother engulfs, through boundary-less or abusive behavior, then abandons them when confronted or when something is more interesting to the parent than the child.The daughter of a narcissistic mother has been psychologically abandoned and abused since very early on in life.Whether she was the golden child or the scapegoat (most likely the scapegoat), she was not given the tools to become an authentic individual.There have been enough illegal drugs to fuel a Columbian cartel and enough alcohol to float an ark.