Examining dating and frienships
How did these two achieve the kind of calm, drama-free post-relationship relationship that so eluded Ross, Rachel, and the rest of us?
Elaine and Jerry's entire post-break-up lives center around being honest with each other — far more so than they are with any of the people they actually date.
Few friendships can survive pretending that your new boyfriend is just your mahjong partner/ personal trainer/ cousin Benoit who is visiting from Paris.
Most post-relationship friendships that fail do so because no one actually wants to be friends — they're just hanging around to see if you're getting back together, or if you're going to have sex for a little while before you get a new partner and then never talk again.
Basically, the question seems to be how exactly single Christians should relate to members of the opposite sex in that large and awkward zone between "we've never met" and a deliberate dating or courting relationship. I won't repeat the full history lesson here, as several Boundless authors have already discussed it (Joshua Rogers most recently, in his excellent piece "Your Friendgirl Deserves Better").
Essentially, the historical reality is that until 30 or 40 years ago, long, intimate friendships between men and women in which each served as the other's emotional confidante, relationship adviser and "best buddy" were far less common than they are today.
First Thessalonians 4:1-8 admonishes us not to wrong or "defraud" our brother or sister by implying a marital level of commitment (through sexual involvement) when it does not exist.
As I've discussed before, a broad (but sound) implication of this passage is that "defrauding" could include inappropriate emotional — as well as physical — intimacy.The breaking of that boundary actually strengthened their friendship in the end. As Jerry tells his parents in "The Pen," "We've tried all kinds of arrangements, but we can't seem to be friends when we sleep together." As long as you know for yourself that being friends is more important than sleeping together, you have a good enough answer.Calmly discussing their new romantic adventures with zero jealousy is the key to Jerry and Elaine's friendship, and also the closest the show comes to being magical realism — but give it a shot.Before continuing with this article, please review the preamble included at the beginning of part 1 of this series, "Biblical Dating: How It's Different From Modern Dating." * * * PART 2: Men Initiate, Women Respond » One of the big questions hovering around the topic of courtship and dating is the role of friendship.How intimate of a friendship with someone of the opposite sex is OK? Won't the friendship be ruined if one of us expresses romantic interest and the other doesn't respond favorably?Romans 13:8-14 calls us to love others, to work for their souls' good rather than looking to please ourselves.