Now, this guy is such a front-runner that she drops every other prospect like a hot potato.

It’s not particularly complicated, but, after years of giving this advice, I’ve discovered that it’s a) surprisingly controversial and b) surprisingly hard for women to execute. And she thinks she’s following my script and holding out properly. Here’s what you actually say: “Hey, I’m really attracted to you and would love to sleep with you, however I don’t like having sex with guys who are actively looking for other women on ” And he’ll say, “Yeah, I get it.” And then you’ll say, “So, when we both figure out if this is a relationship worth exploring, you’re in for the night of your life. Once you both agree to give a relationship a shot, there’s some great sex in store.

So here’s the deal: if you like having sex based on mutual attraction, can easily separate sex from emotion, and have no real attachment to whether he calls you again, then, by all means, ignore this advice. She’s now had sex with a guy who is NOT her boyfriend, and she still has no idea whether he’s seeing anyone else, whether he has any feelings towards her, or whether he’s going to call her the next day. In the meantime, I can think of some other fun things to do…” And then you can proceed to explore each others’ bodies to the limits of whatever boundaries you decide to set. It should be pretty hard for him to argue with that. Take 4-6 weeks to assess whether he’s boyfriend-worthy A man isn’t boyfriend-worthy because he’s cute and smart and funny.

I am scared of getting hurt and us not being on the same page.

But, I am equally scared of pushing for something that is happening naturally and perhaps making him feel pressured and stressed about something that is easy and great, naturally. If I talk with him, how do I bring up being exclusive so that he doesn’t feel pressured?

He still has his online dating profile up and checks it regularly (we met on the site).

I trust him and know that he is being honest, but now that we have slept with each other, it makes me feel vulnerable and nervous.

It’s not the only way to do it, but I’m confident that it’s the most effective one.

I agree with Evan’s advice about waiting for sex if NSA sex does not suit you.

Our chemistry was immediate (physical, intellectual, and emotional) and things have been very easy so far. I am totally comfortable with the speed (how often we are communicating, seeing each other, and sharing information about ourselves).

But, we recently slept together (it felt right and was great).

I am very happy (and he said that he is happy when he is with me) and like him the more I get to know him.